A man in his early twenties has written in to say that he is uncomfortably aware that ‘through trying to be responsible’ he has missed an opportunity, which is a source of considerable regret to him. He goes on to say that for all the DKF-K website talks about opportunity, he himself considers he has very few which make the recent situation all the more painful. He feels angry with himself and yet, at the same time, cheated because he made what he thought was the right approach.

Yes, we do talk a lot about opportunity at DKF-K. An individual’s opportunities are our business and provide the focus of our approach to Astrology. 

Lifetimes themselves are opportunities, and a consciousness approach to living them will find us opportunities everywhere. Opportunity does not manifest simply through the circumstances and developments that bring about significant and desirable changes; it includes anything that contribute to a greater understanding of how we make our choices and decisions, and how to use our time productively

From what you have told me, it seems that if the effort and expense required to engage exceeds the benefit you can expect in return, then you will not consider this a valid opportunities. The opportunity you regret losing nearly got through this net – but not quite. What you are calling responsibility is a kind of book-keeping which may have its place but not as a not a conscious approach to life, least of all when we are young. Our twenties, especially, can be usefully chaotic years if we go confidently towards what attracts us expecting, and usually failing, to get it on our own terms.  What we have made then is an is an investment because it is from these challenges and confrontations that we find out who we are and who we are not, what truly matters to us and what does not. It is in this experience that the real opportunity may be found.  If our twenties are tidy and regulated, it is surely a sign that we are not experimenting enough and investing enough to build up self-understanding through experience. 

I emphasize the developmental value in the situation because opportunities manifest in time, and we receive them or reject them in accordance with where we are in our lives. To have missed an important opportunity, as you consider you have done, is probably a very valuable experience in the matter of coming to understand self-sabotage. How we respond to an opportunity needs to give more than a nod to the nature of that opportunity; it may not be available on our terms

Review the process that you went through. What attracted you and what sustained that interest up to the point you decided against it?  Was there a tipping point or did the inability to decide result in the opportunity timing out? How many times have you been in this place before? How many other times have you been regretful?. This is the route to self-understanding. 

Spiritually has a lot to say about living in the moment and like many expressions that we hear often, it becomes a cliché. We live in the moment when we allow intuition rather than reason to decide whether to take a decision or course of action. It is experience which gives us the awareness that enable us to tell the difference between the two; it is through experience that we find out how and why we are failing to recognize the developments that might bring about significant and desired changes. 

We must be prepared to pay in all kinds of ways for experience.  Feeling that we have missed an opportunity may be one of them. Specific opportunities cannot always re-form but we may be better prepared for those of the future. 

Assuredly, we would all would like our lives to have more dignity than mostly they do, but this is not the reality of human condition and no amount of glossy images on social media will change that. So very often we must get it wrong to know what right looks and feels like. Trying to control the situation through over-caution most certainly will stifle opportunity and result in an arid life.

My recommendation is that you do as the Persian proverb advises: Go wake up your luck!  Then review what you have taken on at the Saturn Return, which for you is still some years ahead.