Dear Suzanne

I recently read the article in which you talk about your young years and patterns of behaviour that, looking back, you had difficulty in understanding. Could you say a bit more about ‘knowing what to do but not knowing why it mattered’ because I think this might help me understand my son’s behaviour at the moment. He is nearly 16 and has become so rude, argumentative and contrary in recent months, in fact, ever since he moved into a new form at school in September last year, that we are hardly communicatingt. It seems I don’t deserve any respect because my generation turned a blind eye to climate change, leaving the mess to his, and so as it seems I now have no credibility  he’s challenging my authority as a parent.  I really don’t know how to handle the situation because he was never like this before and I find it very distressing that he doesn’t see what I do for him or think my feelings matter. It’s like being a cancelled person when. I always felt we had such a good relationship.  I am bringing him up on my own as his father and I split up when he was a toddler. His dad sees him regularly, but he is only interested in being the cool, popular parent who rocks up and takes him interesting places and buys him the expensive things we simply can’t afford. He’s no help with discipline-or much else to be honest.

Do you think an Astrology reading for my son would help me understand what is going on better You gave me a reading years ago, before I had him -I don’t expect you to remember!   I found it very helpful and made sure that my son’s birth time was recorded accurately. He is a Virgo.

J.Z.

 Hello J

Thank you for your email. I will have your chart on file because I have kept all the readings that  I have done down the years, and I would consult it if you do decide to go ahead and have a reading for your son, because there are two of you involved in this situation.

 I would give your son’s reading to you to enable you to understand the situation better. Certainly, there are confidentiality considerations even in a parent child situation, but in this case, he is still a minor, still under your roof and you are still responsible for him.  I would not give reading directly to any one of his age but, at some point, you could test the ground and his level of interest in Astrology by having an Internet reading which, as it is computer – generated, will deal with type rather than penetrate the individual and, as such, is less confrontational.

The reading I would give to you on his behalf, however, would focus upon the individual he is trying to become, what will challenge him in that process and whether the discomfort of this challenge is provoking the present rudeness. A reading would also identify any health issues or what may be missing from your son’s developing life and the ways in which you might be able to encourage him. I am thinking here of interests and aptitudes in your son that may not have been identified as yet, and which might be, conscious or otherwise, a cause of frustration to him. 

How to integrate the insights into your shared lives is, of course, a separate issue, and we would consider this through your own chart. Hopefully, this would help you to understand the situation better and be able to make   different relationship with it.

Yes, I have spent a lot of time trying to make sense of my young years, and the process has given me  insight into the influence of a certain planet (Earth)* and how it works in the lives of individuals, especially when young. But the process has made me aware also of factors over and above individuality, existing in the condition in which all young people find themselves. 

We expect too much of teenagers. We don’t expect children whose physical vehicles are not yet properly formed to behave like adults, but we expect teenagers whose emotional and mental bodies are still in formation to have an adult’s appreciation of their situation and upbringing when they cannot yet evaluate the relationship between cause and effect  or assess costs (in the broadest sense of the term) especially when someone else if footing the bill, because they simply have not yet had enough time in the world to be appreciative of what they have, materially or existentially. 

We used to call this place of non-accountability innocence; now we are more likely to see it as a moral vacuum. 

Esoterically considered, the formative years contain three octaves:

 0-6 years -the mi-fa interval comes at 2-3 years.

7-13 years - the mi-fa interval of this octave comes at age 9-10 years.

14-20 years – the d mi-fa interval of this octave comes at 16-17 years.

At 21 years a young person’s physical structure comprising etheric, emotional, and mental bodies is considered to be complete and he or she is considered accountable. From this point onwards development  becomes self-development involving refinement, greaterawareness and adjustment, 

All the mi-fa intervals take a child further towards individuality. But how many parents are really ready to let go, whether the child is 2,9 or 16 years old, and still in the years of non-accountability, how many children are really prepared for the price at which increased freedom comes? It may be part of growing up but that makes the process no less confusing and distressing for all those involved. Yet from this muddle the child, and perhaps the parent too , can learn a great deal about what in their own personal circumstances, moving on will require from each.

 Don’t lose heart!

Earth (from notes to students.)

In a chart Earth. It belongs to the Esoteric Astrologers tool kit, but it is easily located in a chart because it is positioned diametrically opposite the Sun e.g., if Sun is at Leo 4 degrees Earth will be at Aquarius 4 degrees.

Earth represents the default setting for the personality, when we are young and not yet ready to face the Sun and what it might require of us. Instead, we focus upon shadow cast by the Sun on the ground. It is our own shadow, and so we function well within it. It is a different experience from staying under the influence of the Moon, and we learn much of practical value about dealing with the non-Self in the Three Worlds. Moving onto Earth is like making three-point turn in a car: Earth represents a useful position, but it is still not our rightful direction. Although there is valuable learning is the shadow there is no spiritual nourishment, and success achieved in the shadow does not bring fulfilment. To find our right direction, we must turn right round to face the Sun and adjust and refine what we learned in its shadow. Diminishing returns will set in if we camp out on Earth for too long. By the age of thirty-five, we need to be facing the Sun or potential will not be fulfilled.

 I know and you probably do too a famous Aquarian in his late20s still coming off his Leo Earth in House 10. He does the entertainer very well and has done since he was in his teens. So why does he now hate his celebrity life? He’ll have to work that out for himself because he stopped listening to anyone else years ago.