The gut-wrenching truth of the matter is that I kept telling myself I did not know what I was doing—when actually I did.

I am not a bad person, nor am I someone who set out to deceive myself, or even worse to deceive others. No, I was just someone so deeply layered into an identity that seemed so real—yet was not real.

Not real, I am seeing now.

Why am I seeing this now? Why not when I was 20 or 30 or 40 or 50? Why now at age 63? Why?

Well, because right now, I want to see.

I did not want to see before when I was age 20, I did not want to see when I was age 30, I did not want...

Well, you get the picture. 6+3=9. Maybe that has something to do with it, that cosmic number game from which we cannot escape, yet why would we want to escape? What would l be escaping from? Why would l want to escape as if there is something either behind me or something ahead of me that l planned to avoid facing, coming to terms with…the list goes on.  So, instead I created a ‘present’ that was basically livable hinged on maintaining a false identity.  This ‘identity” which I had convinced myself became real because I kept telling myself it is easier that way.

63 is telling me it is not.

I am smart enough though, to realize that 63 does not lie. That is the gut-wrenching truth, and I am 63, actually I am 63 and three-quarters, so I now have enough experience under my belt regarding "being 63" to know what I am speaking about.

Why would you be interested? Why would you even want to take the time to hear what it is I am talking about?

I think it is because you care and I am presently learning that today, despite all the craziness in the world, people care, and lately they are caring even more. Lately, I am caring even more.

And so, we are all starting to listen.

Listen to each other.

Listen to the wind in the trees.

Listen to, well—ourselves—deep, deep within ourselves to the part of us that knows what REAL is.

This takes courage. It lays all the cards on the table face-up and in doing so we, I, you begin to own who we, I, you are and stop the hiding, running, ignoring, pretending, fighting quietly or loudly. We, l, you decide in order to be real—our guts do get wrenched—but in a good wrench. Good Wrench, wasn't that the subject of an old TV commercial?

We, l, you wake up almost as if for the very first time and look at one another in ways that are new...we, I, you.

Doors open, doors close, doors open.  We, I, you stand in the middle able to create this new Reality—or choose to step back into the old world and forget what 63 is here to tell us. It is our, my, your choice.

MY choice is to live like I have never lived before being honest with myself and everyone else.  Cards are all face-up on the table each moment, and if I stumble or forget, I WANT to know about it so I can change—not change you so I could continue to hide from myself (or you)—rather to change me because I care and have a whole new vista being walked into with my own two feet this very moment. 63 is taking me there and I am cooperating with the process.

This is how I plan to live the rest of my life and anyone who does not think I am crazy is welcome to connect. C

https://cequalssee.com